Dumb and Dumber

I am a wealth of useless knowledge. I can tell you the birthday of my best friend's high school boyfriend's mother (and for those of you trying to figure that out, yes, it is Todd's mom who, sadly, is no longer with us). I know that John Denver was born in Roswell, New Mexico. I studied the driving manual front to back and got a perfect score when I went to get my driver’s license. I know almost every word to the Disney movie, Aladdin. I can also recite all of the 50 states in alphabetical order, and I know most of their abbreviations and their state capitals. I know things there is very little need to know (don't get me wrong, I am all for knowing how many feet in front of an oncoming car you should dim your brights, but common sense might come in handy there as well).

I used to know things. Important things. Pythagorean theorem things. The reason behind World War II things. The atomic number of Iron things. I scored quite well on my ACTs and SATs. I earned scholarships to college. I was, at one point in my life, a bit smart. Now why do I feel so comfortable tooting my own horn so obnoxiously? Well, because I'm not smart anymore. I might actually venture to say I am borderline stupid on (many) occasion(s).

I'm not sure what went wrong. Did my brain begin to deteriorate the second I shut my last college text book, refusing to absorb another molecule of knowledge and slowly leaking what had already been retained? This is what I was pondering today when, and let the judging commence, I had to actually stop to think about whether England was a country and Europe was a continent, or vice versa. Seriously people. I had to pause and dig deep to come up with an answer.

Need further proof? I forget word definitions or use words incorrectly almost constantly. The other day I said I had a photogenic memory. Yep, my memory looks gooood in front of a camera. I probably couldn't even attempt a Mad Libs anymore because I would have to Google what the difference between an adverb and an adjective is.

So, before I have to officially change my name to Jessica Simpson, I thought I had better take some form of action, in fear the occasional glimpse of dumbness will turn into downright moronic stupidity. Therefore, I give you my New Year's resolution: to learn.

That's it. Just one. I'm keeping it simple this year (Have you not been listening? My pea-sized brain cannot handle much more!).

I want to study, seek out, read up on and essentially, become enlightened. Maybe I will try a few algebra problems, take in a New York Times crossword puzzle every now and then. Heck, might even attempt a second language. Regardless of what knowledge I acquire (and note I said acquire, not retain), I am just giddy about the process. This might be one New Year's Resolution I actually keep. Because if I don't, you might find me arm in arm with Bret Michaels, having beat out all the other bimbos on Rock of Love (I know, I know. I'm gonna need to bleach my hair, take up drinking, unlearn all of the 50 states and get a boob job first).

The best Christmas EVER!!

And this is why:
If I knew this is what I would get when Mark and I decided to forgo presents, I would make that arrangement more often. Hmmm.

I guess Santa forgot about the "no spending money on each other this Christmas" rule too, because last I checked, these don't come cheap!
Oh and the kiddos got a few things under the tree too!
And what is a Christmas post without some fancy outfits, a few snow shots and a ginger bread house?
They only looked liked this for about 5 minutes. Then braids came out and tights came off and we began again. As always, I allotted an extra 15 minutes for the re-dressing processes.

Lately it has been snowing (and snowing and snowing and snowing). These pictures were taken after the first significant snow fall. Since then we have had almost constant snow for a week, with drifts over 2 feet tall! The girls had a blast, although the snow was not packable and therefore Cora's snowman was a bust.
It's a snowman, really. Can't you see the carrot nose?

And finally, our first gingerbread house attempt. It actually turned out quite cute. The girls were eager to finish (and devour) the house. Cora's impatience was evident in a few of the photos (decorating with candy is not quite as much fun as eating it).
Oh and one more thing to note, we had the most magnificent feast of King crab legs, shrimp, ham, desserts and sides galore last night with a bunch of our neighbors (thanks for hosting and feeding us Jason and Kassy!! It was DELICIOUS!!). We will have our family Christmas party tomorrow once all of the siblings have arrived.

So to sum it up:
Disastrous house, check. Undone dishes, check. Bellies full of everything and anything unhealthy, check. Hours spent playing with and reading (and replaying with and rereading) new games, toys and books, check. Plans to spend the entire day un-showered in PJs, check. A very splendid Christmas, check.

Merry Christmas everyone. We hope this day finds you healthy, happy and surrounded by people you love!

ps. I have to share a quick Cora story. This morning, after a pancake breakfast, we went to to turn on the TV in search of a Christmas movie we could watch together. No luck. The satellite was not responding. Mark called Dish Network and they essentially told him he would have to climb up on the roof in Arctic-like conditions to remove the snow/ice that had formed on the dish (he did, it worked, crisis averted). Cora only heard part of the conversation, but what she did hear cemented her belief in Santa. This was her response:

"Oh Santa must have broken the satellite when he landed on the roof with his sleigh. And he probably told us sorry before he left, but we were all asleep so we didn't know."

Seems logical to me!

100 posts and counting

For a year now I have been unraveling the chaos that is my life in front of you. I have poured my grief, my joys, my struggles, my loves, my frustrations and my worries into my blog, sending it out there for judgment, encouragement, criticism or understanding. I have, in lieu of my failed attempt at scrapbooking, used it to document our family's adventures throughout 2008.

It began as a photo album, a journal, a record keeper, but it became so much more. My blog became a place to seek refuge. It transformed into a sounding board, an advice seeker, a stress reliever, a listener. And although, riddled with pictures of toothy smiles and rosy cheeks, it has maintained its duties as family historian, it is now a trusty non-judgmental companion.

And through your blogs I find the same thing. On rough days, when I am certain I cannot go on, positive that I have made a mistake when making the decision to replace business cards with sippy cups, I wander to a blog where I am reminded that feelings of failure and inadequacy are the norm and resonate throughout the blogging world. I feel less alone, more at ease while navigating without a manual through this thing they call parenting. I click on another post and am reminded that a few extra pounds does not a hippo make. And that the ponytail is the "in" thing this winter. I am more aware of the beauty and strength of women, inside and out.

I seek escape from my mundane (although lovely) life through various forms. I have lived vicariously through the famous mother/daughter duo of Stars Hollow (and felt for sure my life was ending when they took their last sip of coffee at Luke's) and I have lusted over a fictional teenage vampire. I have buried my nose in a book and immersed myself in the musical talents of others in an attempt to remove myself from the daily stresses of my life. And it usually works. The problem with those mediums is that they don’t talk back. Edward doesn’t know me from Adam. And that fictional town in Connecticut that I would pack my family up in a heartbeat to move to, well it just doesn’t exist. It is a very one-sided (albeit entertaining) form of escape.

That is why I am grateful for you, fellow bloggers. Not only do I feel we are privy to some secret society that posts allow you passage into, but I feel a strange connection to many of you who are (and probably always will be) hundreds of miles away. I feel you know me, quirks and all, and return despite it all. And, through your blogs I have not only come to know you, but appreciate your wit, your empathy and your insight.

You help me be a better mother, a more compassionate friend and a stronger woman. And when I fail at one or all of the above and blog all about it, you make me feel that is okay. So thank you. For your comments. For your blogs. For your wisdom. But mostly, for your understanding. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go clean up the aftermath of a “napping” 2-year-olds attempt at her own dirty diaper change. Fuel for post 101 perhaps?

A Sweeet Birthday!

My better half is 31 today. This is how we celebrate:
And a little of this:
(Okay so our spread wasn't quite that lavish, but you get the gist.)

I woke up to flowers this morning. Yep, he got ME flowers on HIS birthday. I think I'll keep him.

I'm not going to start signing "You complete me," or anything. Just know that I love him. Very simply. Very truly. Happy Birthday babe!

How lovely are your branches...

I never knew that my favorite of any Christmas tree I have ever seen would be one decorated by my dear 4 year old. Isn't it lovely? Now, do I leave it like this as a constant reminder to embrace childhood creativity and all things innocent and good? Or do I reform it using all of my perfectionist adult tendencies?
P.S. In case you were going to test the theory that, in certain conditions, glass ornaments bounce, don't waste your time. Claire has proven that theory false. Regardless of how many times it is tested, the results are always the same.

Why showers are bad for your health....

Mental health that is. I thought, because they were playing so well together in the playroom, I could sneak away for a few minutes with little damage. Obviously, I was mistaken.
I give up. Personal cleanliness is so not worth this! When will I learn?

Belated Thanksgiving

I'm thankful, I really am. For a lot. I have just struggled with putting that thankfulness into words without it coming out as a bunch of mushy, redundant gushings. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the usual. Roof overhead and food on the table, check. Amazing family and great friends, check. Stable income and happy life, check. Very very blessed. And very very grateful for all the usual stuff. Also grateful for some not so run of the mill things this year.

For starters, I'm grateful for Santa and the ability I have to incorporate him into my parenting methods until December 25th (goes a little something like this, "Cora, I wouldn't talk back to mommy because I'm pretty sure Santa is listening to you right now. Do you want to be on the naughty or the nice list?")
And as you can see below, Claire's reaction to Santa shows that same tactic will not work on her.
Also thankful for the fact that our dentist is an old family friend, so when Mark decides he's 15 again and tackles (um, attempts to tackle) a co-worker twice his size during what was originally a "tag" football Turkey Bowl resulting in a near concussion and a molar split in 2, we can interrupt said dentist on Thanksgiving to seek advice.
If the sun's glare wasn't so bad you would be able to read the "high-tec" scoreboard, which said 90-somethin to 20-somethin (helps ease the pain of the $500 dentist bill that followed-okay, who am I kidding, a truckload full of Novocaine would not help!).

And finally, the thing I have been recently most grateful for is motherhood. Cora had her first (ridiculously entertaining) gymnastics performance (see this or this) last week. The highlight of the evening was when they practically had to drag Cora off the stage. She would not leave. She kept striking poses and giving a thumbs up to the crowd long after her class had filed out. And between the laughter, I was oozing proudness. That little being, my overly confident spitfire of a daughter, can make my night with a silly, scattered "gymnastics" routine. Yep, in case I have failed to mention this in the past, I am unabashedly (Twilight anyone?) in love with being a mother.

And there you have a little glimpse of the enormously long what-I-am-thankful-for list of 2008. What's on your list?