Fine, will you marry me?

Mark and I will celebrate seven years of marriage on Monday, May 26th. Because the holiday weekend will be crazy busy, I probably won't get around to blogging on our actual anniversary. I have blogged about how we met and how our relationship evolved, but I have yet to share how he proposed. Oh right, that is because he didn't. So how did we end up saying "I do" without a "Will you" first? Here for your reading enjoyment is the story of my non-proposal.

It was early February 2001. The ring had been picked out and for months now talk of "when I get married" had been replaced with "when we get married." As Valentine's Day rapidly approached, all of the girls at work began placing bets on when Mark would pop the question. My money was on Valentine's Day.

February 14, 2001. I was working at Red Lobster at the time and aside from Mother's Day, Valentine's Day was our busiest day of the year. Mark and I went out to lunch before my scheduled shift and my heart was beating rapidly all through the meal. I kept analyzing his pockets. I was sure the right pocket had a distinct box outline. It definitely looked bigger than the left. Our drinks arrived. Nothing. Our plates polished off. Nothing. The check came. Nothing. Before I knew it we were gathering our coats and walking out the door.

I walked into work and was greeted by a throng of giddy girls eagerly pawing at my ring finger. The absence of a ring zapped their excitement. Noting my somber tone they assured me he probably knew I had anticipated a Valentine's Day proposal and would therefore wait until tomorrow to surprise me. Made sense. He always said Valentine's Day was too commercial.

February 15, 2001. Nothing.

When I walked through the doors that night the girls at work were more cautious and out of excuses as to why my left hand still had a vacancy. I was fighting back tears. "Maybe he is having second thoughts. Maybe he decided that he doesn't want to marry me or that it is too soon." No, they assured me. There must have been a problem with the ring. Maybe it was still being sized. Maybe it just wasn't ready yet. Made sense. You can't have a proper proposal without a ring . Can you?

February 16, 2001. I was sitting on the edge of Mark's bed, blaming the watery eyes on allergies. He knew I was upset but had no idea why. Finally after an hour of prodding I broke down. I told him that if he was having second thoughts we could slow down, but if he didn't want to marry me he had better say something so I would stop spending endless hours flipping through bridal magazines. He was speechless. In my emotional state I took this to mean he was contemplating the best way to let me down easy. When he finally spoke this is what he said: (I actually remember this conversation almost word for word)

Mark: Fine, will you marry me?

Me: No. Now you are just asking because I want you to, not because you want to.

Mark: Amber, I want to marry you. And you know that. I just don't care about a big proposal. Instead of planning something elaborate where I pop the question during a half-time show or something, I would rather take all that energy and put it into making you happy for the rest of our lives (Yes, Mark actually said this. Honest. You can even give him crap for it and he still won't deny it.)

Me: (pause) Okay then I will marry you.

The next day we drove to pick up my ring together. Three and a half months later I put on a fancy dress and changed my name. And now here we are, seven years, 5 moves, 2 houses, 7 cars and 2 beautiful daughters later. Who knew how much fun could come from someone NOT asking you to marry them?!!

P.S. I have to give kudos to my in-laws for raising such a patient, strong, handsome, talented, hard-working and overall wonderful son. And for being a shining example that, even after years of marriage, it is still possible to be very much in love with your spouse. I know Mark looks to your marriage as an example when he is at his wits end and wonders how he got roped into marrying such a crazy, emotional basket-case!! :)