Although this letter pains me to write, it must be done. I'm breaking up with you. I have to put it simply so there is no way you can misunderstand. It's over.
But man did we have a good run in 2009.
Remember that time when we were going to finish decorating Claire's room and finish painting Cora's. What were we thinking? Or what about that time we had that wild idea to slurp this little blog into a book for posterity's sake. Right, like that was gonna happen. Or my favorite was when we decided to organize the closet in the master bedroom. Man, we are such an awesome team. We accomplish so little together. Ah, those were some good times.
Now this shouldn't come as a surprise to you, as we have never been exclusive. I have always had a little crush on Motivation (although we both know how out of my league he is). So I ask that you please respect this decision and do not attempt to contact me again. Don't call. Don't write. Don't even mail the letter you write tomorrow in six months, once you have finally purchased a stamp, assuming I will be ready to take you back. Not gonna happen this time.
And no tears. Tears create messes (and we both know how long that will take you to clean up). Another eager, unaware soul will snatch you up in a heartbeat and I will become a distant memory (you would of course have pictures to document our time together if we had ever gotten around to uploading and organizing all of the 2009 photo folders).
We will always have the memories of what could have been.
Fondly,
Amber
ps. When January 15th-ish rolls around and I am pounding on your door, begging you to come back to me, please ignore me. And promptly re-read this letter.
11 comments:
hilarious!
As I read this, I all I can envision is those Swiffer comercials where the mop and broom are begging the lady to take them back! But instead of a mop and broom, I see a large, block style letter that says PROCRASTINATION...:)
I LOVE IT. Can't you craft a fill-in-the-blank Dear Procrastination letter for me? Oh the things I have started with such gumption and then gumption fizzled. (Does this mean you broke your No New Year Resolutions, resolution? )
i'm in love with you. this post is genius. genius, i say! you know, procrastination calls me every once and a while. damn bootie calls!
Yesssssss! Now I'll have Procrastination all to myself. Maybe I'll finally be all the woman he needs.
p.s. If I lived next door to you, I'd come over and help you paint and finish decorating. Think about it (and make your next door neighbors move out, and find a six-figure job for my husband...).
you crack me up! at work you were never this way!!! I guess that you just need a good team under you to do all the work! LOL!!!
What!?!? Procrastination, you two-timin' little squid!!!
Procastination has been two-timing you....with me!
I LOVED this post!
Um..I think I'll send this to procrastination too! :-)
That darn Mr. Procrastination...he's always trying to sneak back in! This is such a great post. Too funny.
Thank you so much for the amazingly kind words you left on my blog. I appreciate them more then I can really express.
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