Of crepes and mottos and parental hopes

I had a meeting a few days ago at a new little restaurant called the Creperie. The atmosphere was lovely, and the food even more so. I left with every intention of going back soon. I also left missing my father more than I have in years.

He loved crepes. Loved to make them almost as much as he loved to eat them. What I would give to share a brunch at the Creperie (because according to my father, that's when crepes are best enjoyed) with him and tell him all about what he's missed these last 6 years. And I can't help but wonder if he would be proud of what I've accomplished.

I haven't always been the best wife, but I know he was proud of the choice I made in Mark. He told me that often.

I haven't always been the best mother, but I know he would be proud of who his granddaughters have become.

I haven't always been the best friend, but I know he would be proud of the friendships I have worked hard to maintain through the years.

But is that enough? Would he, after taking a look at the woman I am today, be content knowing I have become all he had hoped for?

As I have taken this month off from the blogging world, I have had a bit of time to pause and reflect on this past year. So many people close to me are welcoming the close of 2010, eager to usher in a year full of promise and new beginnings. I am sad to see 2010 end.

I adopted a motto in 2010 that I have grown quite fond of: Screw it. Just do it.

I have decided that I wasted too many years being fearful of my own limitations, scared of failure, weighed down by the inevitable judgment of others. I realized that I was only as powerful as I believed myself to be. So "Screw it. Just do it." was born.

For once I don't feel like I need a clean slate. I'm not in need of a new year to act as a "do over" and rectify a year riddled with mistakes. Sure I made some (a lot, but who's counting), but I had such an incredible year. We were blessed with health and security and friendship and happiness. That coupled with some of the best new memory-making experiences made for a year that was quite simply so much fun. I wouldn't change a thing.

And if I was sitting across from my father, dining on a savory crepe while telling him what I just told you, I suspect he would be proud. To have a child live an entire year without regret? As a parent I'm not sure there's more we can hope for.