What have I done to deserve this?

$117.52. That was the total of our grocery bill tonight and we were just at the store to pick up staples. It freaked me out. In my mind I was re-evaluating the budget, stressing over the dwindling bank account. Payday never comes quick enough. I plopped down in front of the TV to sulk and watched in amazement as I was shocked into reality and immediately put in my place.

American Idol was on and it was their annual Idol Gives Back show. I sat speechless as they strolled the streets of New Orleans, the slums of New York and the shacks of South Africa. I sobbed while sitting on my comfortable leather couches, warm, dry and well fed.

So my question is this. Why me? An HIV positive mother cradled her malnourished child, knowing her days were numbered. She never stopped smiling. She, who loves that child with as much love as I have for my own, was left to helplessly watch her children starve, while I complain about knock-off brand Mac and Cheese. She worries about how she will ration a 5 pound bag of rice over the next few months, while I worry that my grocery budget is cutting into my dining out budget. How does a women with so much more strength, compassion and heart get the short end of the stick, while I, a stubborn, selfish, complainer get to live the American dream?

I have a husband who loves me and is an amazing father to my daughters. His job is secure and our health benefits are wonderful. We have a nice house in a nice subdivision with nice neighbors. We have two working vehicles, plenty of toys (for both the kids and the kids at heart) and enough food in our pantry to feed us for some time. We are all healthy, with clean clothes in our closets, filtered water to drink and a great network of supportive friends and family. How did we get to be so lucky, and how did our society get to the point that even with all the above listed blessings, many of us feel we have been short changed?

You will not hear me complain again in blog format about being a "have not;" seems silly now to have ever entertained that notion. We have so much and I am endlessly grateful.