And the card attached would say...

During the day I write blog posts in my head. Trust me when I say they are brilliant. Then I sit in front of the computer after a long exhausting day and my mind is mush. I try to pound out the once genius post ideas and I'm left with a screen full of word vomit. Not pretty and quite a big fat waste of your time.

Take today for instance. I had lunch with a friend I haven't seen in months. There was a time when a solid 80% of my incoming/outgoing calls were to/from him. I spoke to him 10+ times a day (granted I worked for him, but we rarely talked work). Slowly new numbers began popping up on my phone and that percentage dwindled until his calls completely stopped.

After lunch today we were texting back and forth and I couldn't help but think how great it was to see his name pop up on my phone again. I was flooded with memories of how my life was when he was constantly in it. I began writing this mental post about how easily solid friendships slip away and how a few minor changes in your life can lead to entirely different needs in a friend. We never had a falling out, our lives just began to separate us to the point I couldn't even send him a Christmas card anymore because I no longer knew where he lived. Stark contrast to where we were a few years ago: he sat around our dinner table weekly, was the only single male at Cora's birthday party and frequented our girl's nights (if you know Nick, you know why that last sentence makes complete sense).

He was not a seasonal friend. In fact, I was the one he called at 2am when he was stranded downtown. That's the kind of friends we were. Are. Just in hibernation. Because we don't need each other in the same way anymore.

So many friendships are circumstantial. You are automatic friends because you work together or you live next door to each other or you attend the same classes at the gym. Those friendships are easy and a kick in the pants. But take away the convenience of those friendships and many will dissolve. Or change up living situations or marital status', add moves across town or take on new hobbies and a few more bite the dust. Then add in a change in your emotional state or an adjustment in your dreams and goals and again numbers start disappearing from your recent calls list. And then there are the times your calendar fills up so fast that from sun up till your head hits the pillow you aren't left with a single second to cultivate any meaningful friendships at all.

There was a time when I mourned those friendships until I realized most of them were just as they should be.  Friendships take work. Friendships take time. Friendships take effort. It is impossible to believe we have enough of any of those to sustain every last friendship we've ever had. Can you image the chaos of your days if you even attempted it?

I am grateful for every friendship I have ever had. And as I was scribbling away in my mind, a beautiful post on the little life's lessons so many of those friendships have taught me began to form. But now I sit here ready to clack away at the keys and not a single click of brilliance can even be mustered.

So what's my point? Well if I were to have paused my day and gotten that post out earlier before it had time to bounce around my brain and turn to junk, you would have heard how blessed I am to know you. Chances are if you are reading this I consider you a friend. And chances are our friendship has evolved. You might be the number that now graces my phone 80% of the time. Or you might be the one I have on speed dial who would receive a 2am call but will rarely hear from me otherwise. Or you might be the one whose friendship I will be forever grateful for. We might not see much of each other and I might not even know your number anymore, but my life is as happy as it is today because at one point you were in it.

Thank you for being a friend.