In a rare moment I was standing sans children in a checkout line. Taking full advantage of the calm I picked up a gossip magazine to get my fix. In an unexplainable way when I see celebrities driven to the brink of madness, shaving heads and throwing chairs through perfectly good windows, it makes me feel a little better about my own inadequacies. My crazy seems like peanuts compared to their crazy.
But on that particular day I actually found inspiration sandwiched between the flagrant drug abuse and latest divorce scandal. I had flipped to an interview by Reese Witherspoon. She was talking about turning 35 and how she got it all wrong in her 20s. And then she said one of the most profound things I've ever heard come out of anyone's mouth, celebrity or otherwise, "I definitely know now that I know nothing."
I was certain after 31 years of trial and error, I would be wise. But I think she hit the nail on the head when she said the wisdom is in surrendering to the idea that you will never truly know anything.
Just when I begin to feel discouraged by the world and truly believe that everyone will disappoint me, a random act of kindness will change my mind. Just when I begin to feel let down by eroding friendships, stronger friendships form to lift me up. Just when I throw my hands up in despair, certain every step I've made as a parent has been in the wrong direction, my children will do something that makes me ooze proudness.
As much as life is about the journey, it's actually embracing the idea that your journey, while riddled with perfectly good learning opportunities, may not give you all the answers. Will you come out stronger? Sure. More capable of handling whatever life throws at you? Most definitely. And you will probably come out on the other side a little bit wiser too. That is until life knocks you down again, even after years of learning to stand tall.
And while most days I choose to stay on the ground and kick and scream like a small child, in a rare moment of maturity I will pick myself up, dust myself off and prepare to tackle another craptastic day. Here's hoping I handle tomorrow with a little more of Reese Witherspoon's grace (also a little more of her beauty wouldn't hurt either, as she certainly wasn't hit with an ugly stick).
2 comments:
Well, I knew I didn't know anything at 25. If some magazine had bothered to interview me, you'd know that. Does that make me prettier than Reese? Or just smarter?
More graceful maybe...?
p.s. I'd better come see you before I get put on the decomposing friendship list (or however you put it...maybe a little less horrifically).
Get knocked down seven times, get up eight! I am always worried that when I am 40 I am going to say "sheesh - I thought I knew everything when I was in my 30's". That means at this point right now - my 40 year old self thinks I am an idiot.
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